The Law of Attraction

October 17-19, 2008

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As we’ve established, attracting more good into your life starts with living well. If you’re struggling with your life, you can change it. Just don’t give up. I only ask that you give up suffering, and figure out what a good life would be to you. A negative or depleted person is still attractive, but he only attracts more negativity and suffering. We’ve all heard the sayings, “Like attracts like” and, “Misery loves company.” Unhappy people attract unhappy circumstances so if you want to attract happier people, choose to be happier today, no matter what. 

It’s up to you to set the tone for how you’d like others to treat you. If people take advantage of you, and walk all over you, it’s because you have taught them it’s okay to do that. If people respect your boundaries and right to say ‘no’ you have taught them how to do that too. Just like you don’t want to be a steamroller, you don’t want to be a doormat either. Know your limits and get comfortable with advocating for yourself. Pay attention to your own inner signs that it’s time to put energy and focus back into yourself. 

One of the most loving things you can do for yourself is to practice extreme self care. This means systematically removing the poisonous, draining people and circumstances that deplete your energy, drag you down, and get in the way of you having a good life. Practice healthy boundaries and let people know when they’re crossing them. You are not being ‘nice’ to someone when you let them walk all over you. If you believe that it’s okay for people to disrespect you, you will attract disrespectful people.  

Nature abhors a vacuum. This means that as you create space in your life, the space will be filled with something. If you’re intentionally removing negative influences and purposefully moving toward healthier people and things, the space will be filled with the good that you’re intending now.

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.

~ A Course in Miracles

One of the most common questions that I am asked with regards to the Law of Attraction is this, “Christen, where does God fit in?

I’ve wondered, many times, if I should address this question. And I’ve chosen to do so, to the best of my ability, for it continues to come up and there’s no sign of it stopping. So here I go…

 Where does God fit in?

What an exciting question and I encourage that you ask it again and again! You see, I’ve often asked it of myself — and I continue, to this day, to search for my own answers. The journey to find my own personal truth (and my own spiritual home) has sometimes been a challenge for me. I’ve had to tell myself from time to time, ” Keep your mind open, Christen, and be willing to rethink things; be ready to question your old assumptions about the nature of who you really are.”  

When I first started studying spiritual (not religious) concepts many years ago, I felt that I was somehow betraying my upbringing. I was raise in a devote and loving Catholic family in the midwest. But the more I studied, the better I felt and the more positive and uplifting my life became. I also witnessed some strange and unexplanable things while working as a nures in an intensive care unit, a place where many people died and crossed over. I started openly questioning the things that I was taught in my religion classes because I needed a healthier spiritual outlook. I began asking the Divine for clear guidance and for help in finding new answers around my own spirituality.  I then found myself in the most unexpected of places: in meditation, yoga and energy healing classes; and gravitating toward texts like “A Course in Miracles.” My own discovery of ACIM came after I specifically asked for a way to understand biblical teachings in the modern world — you see, the version that I was taught wasn’t sitting right with me anymore.

As a student of both the Law of Attraction , other universal laws and spiritual concepts, and of “A Course in Miracles”, this blog post is simply a way for me to construct a bridge between them. 

The Law of Attraction states,  “Ask and it is given.”

This means that YOU decide what your life experiences will be. Your repetitive and predominant thoughts, words, feelings and actions create your reality. Whatever you put out, comes back to you and  any choice (or request) that you make will turn up in your experiences and results. You get to be ’right’ about whatever it is that you’ve declared for yourself, positive or negative. It’s up to you.

If the Law of Attraction is one of the Universal Laws, and God created the whole of the universe, I’ve had to ask myself “Who do you think created this law, Christen?” My answer is, “Our Creator, of course!” And like a flash, I had a vague memory of being taught about God’s Laws in the bible as a child. Hhhhmmm. Maybe some of the best of them were actually misinterpreted and passed down to us as less than perfect versions of the truth? 

 A Course in Miracles Says, “God is Love and only Love” and Love can never be what it is not.

This is a Law without opposites and can never be opposed. This means that God supports us in all things and most importantly, His reality is not one of fear and condemnation. God is Love, God created Love and humans made up fear. And, He will never leave us; so if  you’ve ever had the experience of God feeling far away and distant, it’s because you’ve created the illusion of this distance. You are the one who has chosen to go off and play at something else. But like the Prodigal Son, you can return at any time to open and loving arms.

A Course in Miracles also says “We are as God created us.”

And if you don’t like what you have created, “You are free to choose again.” — eventually, we will ALL begin to choose better, and make the best, most highest choices based upon our ever growing awareness of who we truly are and where we truly want to be; in the end, we will all be smart enough to choose to be at Home in peace. So no worries about where you are on the journey for all roads will lead you there, eventually. But you don’t have to suffer; unless of course you choose to put yourself through it.

We can never get disconnected from our source and because we are connected, we can call upon a tremedous, powerful, loving and benevolent universal force to help us construct our reality. And it’s always working, at all times. Even the bible teaches us that we are created in the likeness of God, in the Mind of God; this means that we are also creators and can begin to manifest reality by the thoughts in our own minds. And then literally, draw those thoughts to ourselves.

In reality, we are made in the image of God: love, light, joy, happiness and abiding peace. But because we are also creators, we are free to make up any kind of reality that we choose for ourselves. Ask and it is given, not because we’re being punished, but simply because we asked. Love and total freedom is our immortal reality. It is only this and nothing but this. This means we are NOT fear, hate, doubt and depression –but we also have the free will to pretend that we are, for a little while, if we want to. And while we can construct a life of fear, negativity, darkness and unhappiness if desired, we can also turn it around. And again, there is tremendous assistance avaiable to you to do so.

All of this means that we are only meant to be happy and our lives are only meant to be joyful. But, we we can choose to freely create another reality. Anything we choose! But ACIM goes on to say that anything chosen in love is our true reality and anything chosen in fear, while it can manifest in our experiences here, is false, just an illusion, that we’ve chosen to experience for a little while.

I remember being taught at a very young age that God loves me and created me in His own image. Therefore, it never made sense to me then that He could become angered and upset so easily by the mistakes that I made as a human being. Even though it might comfort us to turn God into a person, this is our human folly for God isn’t human. God is Love and only Love, boundless, limitless and whole. He cannot be touched or change by our opinions of a scary, vengeful, damning force; or of a moody, difficult parent who gets upset when we fall just as we’re learning to walk.  A Course in Miracles teaches us that thankfully, God is not tied or bound by the laws and definitions that we impose upon Him.  And it’s a darn good thing. Our way is certain, we can never get lost or seperated. We will all find our answers and eventually, we’ll all get it right.

For more information about A Course in Miracles, see the link I have posted in this blog.

Until Next Time, Keep searching for yourself. Keep seeking your own truth! Ask for help, and it will be given to you.

Christen

please note: I am but an avid and eager student of the concepts taught in ACIM but in no way do I claim to have mastered it.

copyright 2007, Christen Murphy Resmo, BenchMark Coaching Inc. All rights in all media reserved.

“Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.” ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1855-1919, Poet and Journalist 

Just like a boomerang curves in the air and comes back to you, whatever you “throw” out to the world will circle round and land back at your feet. If you smile at someone, in most cases, they smile back, and if you’re kind to people, they’re usually kind in return. This also works in the other direction. If you complain to someone, they will share their complaints with you; if you get angry at someone, they will get angry with you. Some things come back right away and some things take time. Nevertheless, you have a choice about what you want to come to you, or what change you want to effect.

Another way to view this is to think in terms of the Ripple Effect: when you drop a pebble in a pond, it ripples out over the water effecting widespread change. The waves then hit the shore and come back to you in an even wider pattern.

This means that givers gain! If you want more joy and happiness, bring happiness into someone else’s life and watch happiness come back to you instantly. Need Money? Give some away; give from your heart and connect with a feeling of abundance while doing so. If you give from the space of feeling guilty or think, “I really should give even though I don’t want to” you continue to create more guilt and feelings of being deprived. Bless your bills and be thankful that you can pay them. Spiritual leaders and financially successful people have been telling us this for eons, but we’re afraid to believe it.

What you put out comes back. Yes, you will have bad days so don’t stress over the occasional bout with the blues or a dark mood. It’s your overall generous attitude that will win in the end. But if you gossip, complain and share a lot of misery on a regular basis, you will amplify the presence of these things in your life and openly invite them to come back to you. In actuality, you will get more than what you share with the world.

Principle of Giving - Happy people get happier and unhappy, negative people get more and more unhappy. If you plant one seed, you don’t just get one back. You get hundreds - maybe even thousands! Try it today and see if it works. 

Tips: Plan and intend on being of service today. Be genuine and come from your heart. Put your whole focus on “How can I help?” instead of “What might I get out of this” because you will experience rewards from being loving and considerate of others. Some of the rewards are immediate and can be seen or felt right away; and some are off in the distance heading toward you, so be patient and trust that your good deeds will bring rewards.

Question: Ask Yourself, How can I give today? What can I do to brighten someone else’s day? 

Affirm: My positive, giving actions make a difference in the world and in my life

Try This: Look for ways to offer acts of kindness. Your action can be as simple as offering a smile, holding a door for someone carrying a heavy load of shopping bags, or letting someone merge in front of you in traffic. No action is too small so don’t underestimate the exponential ripple effect of a positive, giving gesture.

Need Help with this Principle? Email Christen your questions at coach@benchmarkcoaching.com 

Copyright 2006 Christen Murphy Resmo, Benchmark Coaching, Inc. All rights in all media reserved

 Christen co-hosts

Live the Day!

with Coach Lee

Talk Radio at its Most Positive

Christen teams up with Denver’s Diva of the Airwaves, Rachelle Disbennett Lee! www.coachlee.com

Live the Day! radio is a nationally syndicated show and airs in six US cities every week

Saturdays at 7:00 a.m. on WFAM AM 1050, Augusta, GA
Saturdays at 8:30 a.m. on KCNW AM 1380, Kansas City, KS
Saturdays at 11:30 a.m. on WSKY AM 1230, Asheville, NC
Saturdays at 6:30 p.m. on WYRM AM 1110, Norfolk, VA
Sundays at 8:30 a.m. on KNUS AM 710, Denver, CO
Sundays at 12 noon on WLMR AM 1450, Chattanooga, TN
Sundays at 3:00 p.m. on WYRM AM 1110, Norfolk, VA

We will be reaching more cities this year but you don’t have to wait for us to come to your town!

You can listen live, anywhere,from the KNUSwebsite

I am very excited to share the fun news that I will be joining Rachelle Disbennett Lee on Live the Day! Radio in September.  Live the Day! is a program that features a superb guest every week. Someone who has accomplished great things by simply following their heart and taking action on their best ideas! We talk to ordinary people who have done extraordinary things, one step at a time. This show has already seen huge success in Denver and is growing by leaps and bounds across the country through the airwaves and around the world through the internet.   Together, Rachelle and I will be reaching more people and sharing countless motivational success stories with you.

If you are ready for positive, inspirational and highly energized programming, tune into our show on your radio or computer. Soon you will be able to ask us questions or give us your show ideas on our Live the Day! blogs. At this time, you can access Rachelle’s blog by clicking here

Live the Day

For those of you who have been to my Your Abundant Life Free eCourse and have listened to my Decision audio: Decision , I talk about one of Rachelle’s first coaching sessions with me. Nine years ago, I hired Rachelle to help me build my coaching practice — together we were successful in that venture. Now, Rachelle is bringing me on board to help grow this wonderful and thought-provoking show! Tune in! I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Live well and make this day a great one!

Christen

Are You Living a Good Life Now?

Manifesting Your Desires for Success, Health and Happiness With the Law of Attraction

We live in very exciting times to be sure. Ours is an era of explosive growth in information technologies as well as a time of spiritual awakening and personal transformation on a massive scale. Can you feel it too? We are at a place in history that is heralding a change in how we see ourselves. We are beginning to wake up and remember who we really are and what we are truly capable of. Have you noticed the wealth of information being shared about new discoveries in Quantum Physics, the power of our minds, and our inborn, natural abilities to manifest the lives we truly desire? Books, seminars and many talented scientists and thought-leaders in the field of human potential are emerging at an accelerated rate. The newest buzz in personal success circles is the Law of Attraction, and yet the principles within the law are as old as the hills and ancient as Time itself.  If you’ve ever thought, “I’ve got to get on this train and find out more!” you’ve come to the right place. This is how I feel too. Even as I learn about manifesting the life I truly desire, doing so takes awareness and practice and it seems like there’s so much more to know. But as the saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

The Law of Attraction states that we become and attract what we think about. One of the most exciting discoveries in the field of Quantum Physics is the concept that our thoughts, words and feelings, and not just our actions, create our reality. This is a universal law that works even if we don’t understand or believe it. And it also means that we’ve been doing things backwards. A good life begins within us, not by our trying to control or fix things in the outside world. We are not victims to happenstance. We are more like magicians who have influence beyond our own awareness.

I learned about the Law of Attraction in the years leading up to the start of my coaching practice, which I established in 1998. When I first heard the statement, “To think is to create” in a seminar for personal growth, I thought “That sounds nice,” and passed it off as a confusing, yet neat little cliché on a banner hanging in the room. At the time, I didn’t fully understand the implications of those words. I have since come to appreciate how our thoughts, feelings and attitudes have a compound interest effect indeed, and cause even the smallest coincidences to occur in our daily lives.

You Can Have What You Desire and Deserve

To help us better understand the law as we go forward, I’d like to share the position in which the Law of Attraction is based. Quite simply, we live in a benevolent universe that can only support and fulfill our wishes and desires. We are the cause and creators of our reality and we get help in making it so. Do you remember the phrase, “Be careful about what you ask for, you might get it?” Well, there’s a whole lot of truth to that statement.

This is intriguing stuff because it means we really can have whatever we desire and deserve. Beyond that, life wants to give it to us. You see, there is no lack, no matter what our perception about lack is. But we’re allowed to experience the ‘reality’ of lack as long as we choose to think about it, and believe in scarcity, and until we choose otherwise. We are all connected to a boundless source of prosperity and to the eternal and unlimited power that gave us life, which we can never be separated from. I personally call this power God, but others call it source energy, the mind of spirit, Great Spirit, the Universe, higher-self and still others, the field of infinite possibilities and pure potentiality.

Ask and It is Given

You can change your life for the better at any time and take a quantum leap forward to experience only those wonderful things that at one time you didn’t dare imagine! “Ask and it is given” is a premise in the Law of Attraction which means we each have an awesome ability to attract fortuitous opportunities to us. The problems surface when we don’t understand the process in which we ask for things. Without the proper understanding we can just as easily create and attract the negative as the positive; it all depends on how we direct our focus.

You might be thinking, “That’s great, but let’s get practical. How can I start living a good life now?” Excellent question! That’s my interest too. Mine is a coach’s perspective. The goal of coaching is to use whatever tools we have available to help us become happier and more fulfilled people in everyday life. My personal satisfaction comes from being a part of that process. I encourage you to stay open to these ideas that may be unfamiliar to you, and be willing to try new things just to see if they work. To question and explore is all that I ask of you, my dear readers. So let’s get started!

I hope you enjoy the posts in this blog!

LIVE WELL, CHRISTEN

 By Christen Murphy Resmo, Life Success Coach 

Tired of striving, struggling and pushing so hard for results? Try Attracting Instead  

Being irresistibly attractive is about living a life that feels really good to you. When you feel attractive to yourself and set up conditions in your life that work best for you, you’ll become more attractive to the world. This means, you don’t attract those things you hope or wish for; you attract the people, experiences and opportunities that match how you’re being, how you’re living and how you’re showing up in the world.

 1. Feel Good First 

It’s a mistake to think your life has to be problem free before you can feel happy and peaceful. The opposite is actually true. First you work toward joy and serenity and then your life challenges lessen. Most say, “When I reach my goals, I will be joyful.” But you must be joyful first. You must start with the determination that you will settle for nothing less than feeling good. And when you first seek joy, all else that is good follows. This is because joy is very attractive.

 2. Be Attractive to Yourself 

While it always feels good to put your best face forward, being attractive is not just a matter of physical appearance. So rather than spend a lot of energy trying to look good to the outside world, or play a part to gain the approval of others, focus on what makes YOU feel good instead. Ask yourself, “Is this the life I really want?” Or “Am I being the person I came here to be?” If not, are you willing to make a change for the better?  The person living the life they really want attracts others who are doing the same.

 3. Stop Chasing and Start Being 

Most of us chase after things and few of us naturally attract the good stuff that we truly desire until we start living the life that feels most appealing to us, and until we start being more like the things we want to attract. In other words, if you want happier people and experiences to come around, be genuinely happy. If you want to experience more kindness from others, be kind first. Be the friend that you would like to have. Be light, laugh easily, be confident, and be yourself. Let your true self be revealed. When you begin to live more authentically, you become simply magnetic.

 4. Create Beautiful Spaces around You 

When you come home, do you feel a good vibe in the air? Your home is your sanctuary and you deserve for it to feel that way. Even if you’ve gotten used to a chaotic environment, you’ll feel a lot lighter when the space in your home is beautiful and functional. And lightness attracts more light. This doesn’t mean you have to blow your budget or go overboard with remodels. Simply focus on the little things that make a big difference. If you’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, design at least one area in your home to feel like yours entirely.

 5. Put Peace and Quiet at the Top of Your List 

Is it becoming harder remember what you did just a few days, or minutes, ago? Are you always in a rush, becoming clumsier or running into furniture? If so, your mind is in need of rest. Because life gets busy and hectic, it’s essential to find those moments of calm. Take time for yourself. Take time for your life. Without rest and rejuvenation, you cannot be fully present to enjoy the unfolding of your life. Slow down your pace and make peace and quiet a priority so you can remain grounded. A centered you is a more powerful you, and others will be drawn to you when they feel such presence.

 6. Nurture Yourself  

Women are nurturers and we’ll put our own needs aside to take care of the needs of others. We have genuine concern for the wellbeing of humanity. And yet, how well can you nurture those you love when you’re exhausted and totally spent? Honor yourself and care for yourself first. When you nurture yourself without guilt, you’ll feel better. And when you feel better, you’ll have more positive energy. This feeling creates and attracts better experiences. When was the last time you felt really nurtured? Re-create that experience in your life once again.  

7. Make Room for Your Desires

If you’re feeling overstretched and overcommitted, perhaps it’s time to say the dreaded n-word, NO! And it’s okay. Learn to say YES to the things you want to, and NO to the things that you need to. Radical self-care means taking an honest look at your life and letting go of the things that no longer serve you. This helps you create a landing pad for your heart’s desires. How can they come into an already jam-packed life, otherwise? As you start removing what you don’t want, you’ll make room for the new things that you really do want instead.

 7. Allow Yourself to Receive  

Some people think, “Why is it taking so long for my dreams to come true?” If you’ve ever had this same thought, it isn’t because you don’t deserve them. It isn’t because you don’t want them badly enough or aren’t working hard enough. Maybe bits and pieces of the dream have been coming to you but you keep saying, “No. I don’t deserve that” Or, “I can’t have that.” So many wonderful things are waiting to come into your life. Are you letting them or are you pushing them away? So much of what you’ve asked for is already lined up outside your door. Allow yourself to open up and receive them.

 8. See Yourself in a New Light 

If you had friends who talked to you in the same negative way that you sometimes talk to yourself, would you continue to hang around with them? If not, why do you continue to talk to yourself that way? People who like themselves are automatically attractive to other people. So maybe it’s time to re-think some of the assumptions that you carry around about yourself. Are you really such a bad person? If you want to attract more loving and supportive people, speak to yourself with loving kindness. Be shameless about who you are. Don’t shrink back; don’t hide yourself from the world.  See yourself in a new light and let that light shine.

 9. Affirm the Positive 

My coach Rachelle has two favorite sayings, “My life is perfect and only getting better,” and “Today is the best day of my life!” And she’s serious about both. It’s really fun to be around Rachelle because she radiates this ‘best life’ point of view. Go ahead, say it out loud, “This is the best day of my life!” and mean it. See how great it feels? This simple act will raise your perception to a whole new level. From this vantage point, you’ll begin to notice all the positive things around you and even if nothing earth-shattering happens, you’ll be in a better mood. This positive mood is very attractive.

 10. Make Gratitude a Habit  

When you catch yourself feeling kind of low, a simple way to switch your focus is to ask yourself “What am I grateful for?”  When you hold feelings of gratitude for the good you already have, you instantly create the space for more good to come. You see, the glass is both half empty and half full. How you choose to relate to the glass makes all the difference. Be grateful for what you already have, and you will being to notice, attract and experience more good in your life.

Learn how to apply the Law of Attraction!                                                    

Christen joins radio host, Heather Vale on Success Unwrapped Radio this week to discuss the role fear plays when we begin acting on our goals. Christen’s got a unique spin on the subject that will surely surprise and inspire you.   

Listen in…

“The purpose of life is to recreate yourself anew in the highest version of the grandest vision you ever had about yourself.  Challenge your present way of thinking and move into a grander and larger experience of who you really are.”
~Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God

Yes, you are human, but you are also so much more. In truth you are a perfect spiritual being having a human experience, encountering life in the world of form. That sounds really great, even poetic and magical, but life can be hard anyway. Let’s face it, we all experience the imperfections that come with the territory of being human. Oftentimes, we feel like tremendously limited, ordinary people who enjoy occasional moments of spirituality. It’s certainly not easy to practice spotless ways of living all the time so we’re sure to slip up and have days when our attitude is more than a little self-defeating. And that’s okay.

My good friend Marla Mitchell is a wonderfully gifted spiritual mentor and healer. In one of my weaker moments she said to me, “Don’t worry about being perfect here. You’ll have plenty of time and opportunities to be perfect in heaven. Down here on planet earth we learn lessons, we grow, and we try to forgive ourselves and others as we strive to love each other unconditionally. That’s what it’s all about. We’re humans trying to remember who we are in spirit and practice spirituality despite all the distractions that aren’t present in heaven.” It can be overwhelming to say the least.

Some of my teachers have said, “You are not a body, you merely live in a body.” Okay, you have my attention now, but what does that mean? It means you are both mortal and eternal, and you have an existence far beyond your personality, your ego, your self-appointed identity, and even your own mortality.

Principle of Right Perspective – Yes, you are human and you are so much more than your physical existence too.

“Your Inner Being feels no limit. So, anything that feels like limits is something that you have self-imposed.”
~Abraham-Hicks

Tips: Lighten up! Don’t try to be perfect, it’s too much pressure. Simply accept the fact that you are wonderful and there are mysterious things about you that you don’t fully understand – but you’re still learning. Maybe you’re far greater than you think you are, and you’re slowly waking up to a greater truth. In the meantime, being human doesn’t have to be such a serious matter. Laugh at yourself, be patient and let yourself be a person too.

Question: Are you being too hard on yourself?

Affirm: “I am okay and acceptable.” “I am becoming more and more aware of how capable and wonderful I really am.” “I allow myself to shine.”

Try this: Just for today, stop beating yourself up and put the hammer away.

Need Help with this Principle? Email Christen your questions at coach@benchmarkcoaching.com
  

Copyright 2006 Christen Murphy Resmo, Benchmark Coaching, Inc. All rights in all media reserved

“The world is a great mirror. It reflects back to you what you are. If you are loving, if you are friendly, if you are helpful, the world will prove to be loving and friendly and helpful in return. The world is what you are.”
~ Thomas Dreier, Author 

Being irresistibly attractive is about living a life that feels really good to you. It’s a makeover from the inside. You will attract good things when you feel attractive to yourself and set up conditions in your life that work best for you. In other words, you don’t merely attract those things that you hope or wish for; you attract the people and circumstances that match how you’re operating and showing up in the world. Most of us chase after things and few of us naturally attract the good stuff that we truly desire until we start living a life that feels most appealing to us, and until we start being more like the things we want to attract. For example, if you want more happy experiences to come around, be happy. If you want to encounter more kindness from people, be kind first. If you want more respect from others, be respectful.

It’s important to ask yourself, “Do I really love my life?” If you say, “No, not completely,” the next questions are, “Why not?” and “What has to change?”

Don’t worry if you look good to the world; concern yourself with living a life that looks good to you. Fall in love with your life and you will be attractive to others. And the more attractive you become, still others won’t be on the same page and will resist your happiness, but that’s okay too. They’re just not there yet.

It’s a mistake to think your life has to be problem free before you can feel happy and peaceful. The opposite is actually true. First you work toward joy and serenity and then your life challenges lessen and disappear. Most say, “When I reach my goals, I will be joyful.” But you must be joyful first. You must start with the determination that you will settle for nothing less than feeling good. And when you first seek joy, all else that is good follows. It’s not the other way around. You can feel joyful or serene even in the midst of turmoil.

Principle of Joy – When you feel good, you attract and manifest even more good.

“Selfishly seek your own joy: Your joy is the greatest gift that you can give to anyone. Because unless you are in your joy, you have nothing to give, anyway.” ~Abraham- Hicks

Tips: Radiate joy from the inside out. Let yourself feel good no matter what is happening around you. Allow yourself to sparkle and shine — Joy is very attractive.

Question: Have you taken your life too seriously? How will you let yourself have fun again?

Affirm:  “I am joyful now.”

Let this simple affirmation travel from your head to your heart – which can sometimes be a very long distance. It may take a little practice, because you must allow yourself to feel it too!

Try This: Try taking just a few minutes to be fully present with someone today and share a moment of joy with them. Smile more often and find at least one person to laugh with –see what happens.

Need Help with this Principle? Email Christen your questions at coach@benchmarkcoaching.com

Copyright 2006 Christen Murphy Resmo, Benchmark Coaching, Inc. All rights in all media reserved.

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.”
~Benjamin Disraeli, British Statesman and Prime Minister

 Do you really think you deserve good things?

You do deserve a great life, and nothing but a great life. However, if you think you don’t deserve something or that you’ll always be stuck in an unhappy relationship or dead-end job forever, or that life will always be hard, then you’ll prove to be right about these thoughts. You’ll keep yourself stuck if you focus on where you are now because you then perpetuate this exact set of circumstances over and over again. Because the Law of Attraction states that you attract and manifest the things you think about, it pays to focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. If you obsess about the problems you have now, you’ll stay stuck in these problems. But if you concentrate on where you want to go from here, you’ll start to move forward again and attract helpful events, in an ever-increasing measure, that will help you gain momentum.

Several well-known authors, speakers and teachers of the Law of Attraction were recently featured in the smash hit film, ‘The Secret.’ In it, they teach that everything coming into our lives is being attracted to us, through us, by virtue of the images we hold in our minds. This means, when you think positive thoughts and focus on them intently, then like a magnet, you will attract these good things into your life.

This can mean promising things if you remain aware of what you’re thinking about. You can turn your specific and hopeful wishes for health, money and great relationships into strong magnetic intentions by focusing your thoughts on these desires, and on nothing but these things. Quantum physicists and meta-physicists tell us that our thoughts become form so you literally bring the predominant events in your mind into your physical experience. Not everything you think about happens, I don’t mean that. But I am suggesting that what you think about most, over and over again, with the greatest amount of personal energy and attention, will indeed grow and come into your life. For example, if you focus primarily on the feeling of happiness, you literally experience an expanse of happiness in the moment and you also attract future moments of happiness too.

If They Can Do It, You Can Do It

There are numerous examples of successful people who tell us how single-minded they became while focusing on a dream or ambition. A fun and inspiring modern-day sports example is Michael Jordan. Michael has spoken about his total mental fixation on becoming the best basketball player he could possibly be. His success started as a thought that he kept coming back to. He pictured himself being the very best before he became the very best; and we’ve all seen the results of such mental astuteness. Jordan is hailed to be the greatest athlete to have every played the game.

It might be hard to relate to someone as famous as Michael Jordan and perhaps your ambitions aren’t the same as his, but you do have the same, equal access to the Law of Attraction as he does or anyone does. All of us are working with the Law of Attraction at all times. Successful people simply send out clear messages which they continually give thought energy to, and then participate with the many opportunities that arise as a result. And opportunities will present themselves to you too. They must because it’s the law. Don’t worry about how everything is going to come about to help you. Just trust that things will. Favorable ‘chance’ events will occur to support the thoughts that are foremost in your mind – and they are not luck or happenstance. These circumstances are designed for you, by you, and come about because you’re thinking has attracted them.

When I was transitioning out of my nursing career and focusing intently on becoming a professional coach, suddenly and out-of-the-blue many people showed up in my life to point me in the right direction. All of them had useful tips for how to grow my business in Denver; and they shared ideas that I’d never heard of before. You see, I received the much needed information only after I started thinking about filling my practice with local clients. It was then that I found a multitude of people and networking opportunities available to me.

And take heart; not everything you think about shows up in the exact form you imagined, (like how, as a little girl, Katie Holmes dreamed of marrying Tom Cruise and actually did! How many girls didn’t?) but the very essence of the things you think about most often and with the greatest amount of intensity will indeed appear.

Focus on What You Want

Before I met my husband and best friend, I had had enough of toxic relationships that were going nowhere. My sob stories of failed relationships expanded more than a decade.  Finally, I decided things were going to change. I had to undo the thought-pattern that was keeping me stuck, which was this, “I have to do everything myself because nobody really wants to help me.” I then imagined how good it would be to have a relationship with someone who had my best interests at heart and who I could be myself with entirely. I pictured all the elements I wanted in my ideal relationship and daydreamed about the details. I even created a long list of the qualities and characteristics I desired in this person so my eyes could see it on paper. I then firmly decided I would settle for nothing less than what I’d envisioned, totally trusting and acting as if I knew for certain he was on the way. Only then did he appear. David reports an experience that compliments my own. Just weeks before we met, he declared, “I’m not going to worry about meeting someone anymore. I’m going to be happy no matter what, and trust she’ll show up when she’s supposed to.” The irony is that my husband and I have mutual friends who could have introduced us five years prior to when they actually did. Only after our thoughts aligned did we attract one another.

You can do this with the smaller day-to-day things too. Each morning before you roll out of bed, you can practice visualizing and setting good intentions for the day. Picture your day flowing smoothly, or unfolding any way you choose. See yourself calmly and easily getting everything done without stress, and with plenty of time and energy left to spare. See yourself smiling, relaxing and having fun with whatever occurs that day. Try it. None of this stuff will hurt you; you have nothing to lose and only good things to gain.

Principle of Visualization – If you can see it in your mind, you can have it in your life

“Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously and never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop this picture!”
~ Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking

Tips: If you want your life to change, you need to shift your focus and change your thinking. Imagine yourself enjoying the things you desire as if you already have them. You will then attract into your life the pictures you hold foremost in your mind. And be patient. We live in the world of time and space. We can create some things instantly, like a good mood, and other things will take longer than we want them to and think they should.  Little by little, you’ll become more comfortable working with your thoughts; especially when you understand that most thoughts don’t have instant manifesting power. There’s a buffer between your thoughts and their manifestation which gives you time to make improvements or corrections as you go, and to become clearer about what you really want.

Question: What super exciting goal, dream or idea will you focus on now?

Affirm: “I can have anything I set my mind to.”

Try This: Concentrate on where you’re going and what you want to experience! Keep your mind trained on your new direction going forward! Make a list of what you really want and keep giving these desires your positive thought energy.

Need Help with this Principle? Email Christen your questions at coach@benchmarkcoaching.com

Copyright 2006 Christen Murphy Resmo, Benchmark Coaching, Inc. All rights in all media reserved.

“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.”
~ Richard Bach, writer

Wouldn’t it be great to have your own powerful genie in a bottle, who pops out on your whim and grants your every wishes? Well guess what? You do! And he’s much closer than he might first appear. There’s a mechanism in your subconscious mind which is your own personal genie in a bottle, and really is ready and able to grant your every wish.

Do you remember the story of Aladdin’s Lamp? It’s the perfect analogy for how your mind works. Your conscious mind is Aladdin, the decision maker, who chooses what to wish for – this is the part of your mind that you‘re aware of right now, that is reading this page and comprehending the meaning. Your subconscious mind is the greater part of your mind that runs on autopilot and automatically accepts the data you feed it, or the wishes you ask of it. It also keeps your body systems operating smoothly so you don’t have to think about your heart beating, for example. Quantum physicists and spiritualists suggest that our conscious/subconscious mind is directly connected to the super-conscious mind of the infinite, or to spirit – this could explains some of those strange things that are really hard to explain, like how you can be thinking of a friend that you haven’t heard from in years and they suddenly call from out-of-the-blue.

Your Wish is My Command

When you hold a clear, descriptive picture of what you really want, the genie in your subconscious mind says without judgment or argument: “Your wish is my command, you can have that,” and instantly goes to work on helping you create it. Once you make a wish, within days you might notice a steady stream of good ideas coming into your awareness; and you could wake up in the middle of the night with the perfect solution to a problem. Even more strangely, you overhear people talking about the exact thing you wanted to know, or you run into the person who has precisely what you need. You subconscious mind is like a heat seeking missile, helping you find the missing information needed to construct your next step.

Your subconscious mind will go into a heightened state of awareness to support your conscious thinking patterns. It works with the little things too, like when you learn the meaning of a word for the first time. Then, after never hearing the word in your entire life, you suddenly hear it everywhere. Even the TV newscaster used it the very same week you discovered its existence. Another example is when you suddenly see something you’ve never noticed before. Have you ever not gotten along with someone until you began to think about, and concentrate on, their good qualities? Then, unexpectedly, the whole relationship turned around for the better. This isn’t because they changed, it’s because your focused changed. Your subconscious mind picked up on the shift and began to follow the new trail you sent it down.

What Are You Wishing For?

If you decide to go back to school for the skills you’ve always wanted, the genie inside says “your wish is my command, you can have that.” It doesn’t get scared and no goal is too big. If the very next moment you think, “No, I’m not smart enough” or “I’m too old and I’ll just look foolish” or “I can’t do that,” guess what? Your genie says, “Okay, you can have that too.” It assures you’ll be right about anything you choose, self-supportive or self-defeating; and more often than not it’s a blend of the two.

This is our problem. We keep mixing up the message and our genie gets schizophrenic, granting wishes over here and over there, always ready and willing to be of service. It does whatever it can to help your every wish come true – it doesn’t care if your wishes are negative or positive either. It follows your lead and won’t stop you from creating the negative. This means, the more positive your thinking is, the more positive your results will be. And the more consistent your thinking is, the more consistent your results will be. For example, if you’re excited about being highly successful in your new business, but then tell yourself that you’ll never be organized enough to make it happen, you mix the message. This will produce inconsistent results. You might actually start the business, perhaps slowly and painfully, and your overall success could take a lot longer than it needs to. But if you tell yourself, “I want this, I can do this and I’ll keep myself organized along the way,” you begin to create a more effective paradigm to best guide and influence the new habits you’re developing.

I’ve had numerous clients share their sheer amazement at how many goals they’ve accomplished after taking the time to write them down. They say things like, “I just found my list from January and everything on it has already happened this year!” The explanation for this is simple: listing your goals is an intentional act that sends a clear, strong message to your subconscious mind. Thoughts, feelings, words and actions all send messages. Everything we do and every way that we’re being sends this one message, “This is who I am and this is what I want.” Poof! There it is, even if people declare, through word and deed, anger and violence. They’ll surely get it.

Intention is the mental process that keeps your attention fixed on your goals with a laser-like focus. Desire is the feeling process that helps you determine what you truly want, in your heart of hearts. Both intention and desire work in tandem. Once you set a strong intention to reach your desires, the genie goes to work instantaneously to bring these things about. And again, your subconscious mind holds no judgment; it helps you literally create and experience your own self-fulfilling prophecy so when you intend on having your highest good, what else can the genie say except, “So be it, it is done for you.”

Principle of Intention and Desire – You would not be given a dream without also having the power to make it happen

“Beware what you set your heart upon. For it shall surely be yours.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tips: All thoughts have creative power, but it’s those thoughts composed with the greatest amount of feeling and desire that carry the most sizeable voltage. A strong desire for a good life will attract a good life with greater magnetism. On the flip side, strongly negative thoughts and feelings will create disastrous results over the long haul. You can deliberately create a wonderful life and manifest the most miraculous and serendipitous encounters when you remain conscious about what you give emotional energy to.

Question:  Because all your ideas are supported, what do you want to be right about?

Affirm: “I am powerful, capable and strong.” “All the resources I need are coming to me right now.” “Everything that needs to happen will happen in order that I achieve my dreams.”

Try This: If you, the wish-maker, are consistently positive, your results will be too. Thought by thought and step by step you can greatly change your life over time. For today, catch yourself when you start thinking negatively. Simply stop and take a deep breath. Say to yourself, “Cancel that!” And redirect your thinking in a positive way. It might help to put your hand over your heart and say, “Find your center; now what would a good thought be?”

Need Help with this Principle? Email Christen your questions at
coach@benchmarkcoaching.com

Copyright 2006 Christen Murphy Resmo, Benchmark Coaching, Inc. All rights in all media reserved.

“If we are basically positive in attitude, expecting and envisioning pleasure, satisfaction and happiness, we will attract and create people, situations, and events which conform to our positive expectations.”
~ Shakti Gawain, author of Creative Visualization

Was there ever a person in your life that you knew you were meant to meet and who came along at the perfect time, with the best answer? Miraculously, they had exactly what you needed, as though Serendipity had sprinkled its magic fairy dust over you. This was the Law of Attraction working as your own personal-assistant, bringing about what you wanted. It was because you asked for help that help arrived. ‘Ask and it is given’ is part of the Law – which will bring the right people to your doorstep at the right time.

The Universal Manager

If the principle of vibration works with people, let’s see how it works with our goals too. Think of the Law of Attraction as the great universal manager that assures all thoughts and feelings line up with one another. Every thought and feeling sends out an energetic signal that attracts a matching signal back. Just like radio waves vibrate at a certain frequency — which you can pick up in your car the moment you tune into their exact wavelength — your thought patterns vibrate too, and are ‘picked up’ by those people and things that you desire and that match your signals. So back and forth it goes: the signals resonate with one another until one day, the thing you desire shows up in the world of form.

Sound like a bit of a stretch doesn’t it? But, if you accept the premise that everything is connected and interrelated, and synchronous events are happening on a level that you can’t see, (just like you can’t see radio waves but can hear the sound of music when you’re radio is on) why wouldn’t it work?

Vibration as and Attractor

Think of people as energetic, vibrational beings for a moment. Yes, we are chemical and biological beings, but we also send out energy vibrations that are felt by others. Some of the electrical currents created by our bodies can be measured with EKGs and EEGs, and some are just vibes, ‘picked up’ by our senses. Some people simply walk into a room and the whole place lights up, and most everyone wants to be around them. These attractive people give us the feeling of being uplifted and inspired while others repel, drain and exhaust us. Could it be that we’re responding to energy signals based on how people are thinking, feeling and being?

Birds of a Feather Flock Together

Like me, I’m sure you’ve had the experience of meeting somebody for the first time and instantly liking that person. The two of you just ‘connected’ and you both felt as though you’d known each other forever. You were attracted to one another, not romantically speaking although it can be that too. As much as you were drawn to them, you’ve also been equally repelled by other people, right? Beyond physical appearances, something else is going on.

The Law of Attraction says: That which is like unto itself is drawn. This could explain why we feel like ‘two peas in a pod’ with our best friend, and like ‘two ships passing’ with a mere acquaintance.

We are naturally attracted to some people and quite repelled by others; and while there’s nothing tangible on which to base our like or dislike, some people feel ‘right’ and some don’t. And some people put off such ‘bad vibes’ that we can’t wait to get away from them. But what’s interesting is that even these seemingly miserable people have friends. We’ve all heard it said that misery loves company, which explains why negative, critical and complaining people can still find and attract an audience.

You must begin to see yourself as a center of energy living amidst a much vaster, all encompassing field of energy. You are in the soup, so to speak. This means that you can gradually, gently and purposefully raise your own personal energy field to be a highly attractive one, to be sure. And as you do, you greatly increase the speed in which your desires come zooming toward you.

Principle of Vibration: You will attract and manifest the things that match your vibration; and the things you vibrate are always moving toward you

“Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success. Great living starts with a picture, held in your imagination, of what you would like to do or be.”
~ Harry Emerson Fosdick, Minister

Tips: If you want to raise yourself out of unpleasant circumstances, all you need to do is raise your internal vibration by changing your signals. Like thoughts attract like experiences so when you think about what you’d rather have, it starts happening right away or begins to work its way into your life.

Questions: What requests are you making by the thought signals you’re sending out?

What emotional vibes are you feeling within yourself, and therefore by default, putting into the world?

Affirm: “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself.” “I am wonderful.” “I am healthy, vibrant and light.” “I am always surrounded by supportive, helpful and positive people.”

Try This: If you had a friend who talked to you like you sometimes talk to yourself, would you continue to spend time with that person? If not, just for today, feed only kind and loving messages to yourself. Repeat the above affirmations silently throughout the day today. This will instantly increase your internal vibration which will gradually become a new and totally super-charged pattern of energy emitted from your own personal field.

Positive thoughts vibrate at a higher frequency and enable you to attract the positive things these thoughts vibrate with. Simply start by talking to yourself in a more positive way in this next minute, then in this next hour.

Need Help with this Principle? Email Christen your questions at coach@benchmarkcoaching.com

Copyright 2006 Christen Murphy Resmo, Benchmark Coaching, Inc. All rights in all media reserved

“Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future.”
~ Marilyn Ferguson, writer

Did you know that the ‘self-help movement’ began in America in the late 1800s? The first self-help book ever published was entitled, appropriately enough, Self-Help. Written in 1859 by author Samuel Smiles, this book was a revolutionary text that encouraged readers to help themselves in life and not wait for life to come to them. Since then, we’ve learned that both are true; a good life will come to you when you help yourself and practice the principles of attraction.

No matter how you feel about self-help texts, their popularity can’t be denied. Every major bookstore has entire sections devoted to them and online resources number in the thousands. And what self-help book doesn’t touch on the principle of positive affirmations? The reason that so much has been written about the power of affirmative thought is because it works, and here’s why: the Law of Attraction says, whatever you focus on grows and you become what you think you are. And affirmations work even better when you say them as if you believe them to be true.

We All Have Bad Days

Have you ever gotten out on the wrong side of the bed in the morning, only to have the day go downhill from there? You spill coffee on your newspaper, get toothpaste on your tie, miss your train, forget your meeting notes at home, and lose the keys to your office all before 9:00 am. This is because, whatever you give thought energy to, you give power to. It is you that sets off this entire series of unfortunate events, and by putting your ever-increasing energy into feeling rushed and frantic, you perpetuate more opportunities to be rushed and frantic. Yes, we all have bad days and you can’t expect to gain self-mastery overnight so go easy on yourself. But do remember, you can lessen the impact that a bad day has.

It doesn’t really matter that you have toothpaste on your tie all day; it’s how you react to it being there. Whenever you put emotional energy behind a thought, you amplify the power of it even further. A passing pessimistic thought without much emotion can easily be overcome by a positive thought that you pour your heart into. If you laugh at yourself and let frustrations roll off your back, like water off a duck, then almost any inconvenience becomes no big deal. If you hook into feelings of anger and upset, then you can make a big deal out of minor occurrences — and on and on it goes with the major life events too.

Life is Good if You Say So

I encourage you to police those self-effacing thoughts and stop yourself before you spiral down deep into the pity-pot. Whenever I find myself there, I remind myself to quickly replace those attack thoughts with far more supportive, life affirming ones.

If you believe life is good, then life is good. If you believe that life is hard, life is hard. Pessimistic and negative affirmations attract more negative experiences. But when you affirm often, “All is well in my abundant world,” you open up a continuous and steady flow of good things coming to you. Remember, even if your results come about a little differently than you imagined, or show up in a form other than what was planned, you will still enjoy the essence of them.

Affirmations Change Your Internal Vibration

Here is another way to understand the vibrational nature of things with regards to affirmations. It might sound silly, but bear with me. Because I’m not a physical scientist or someone who can tell you exactly how electrons move within atoms, it’s the best I’ve got! Think of a glass of water. Imagine this water as being in a neutral state, carrying a specific speed of vibration within its molecules. When the water get cold enough, its vibration slows down and it becomes ice; when the water gets hot enough, the vibration speeds up and it becomes steam. But ice, water and steam are all the same thing, just vibrating at different rates. When you change the vibration, you change the form! Just like your physical body (which consists mainly of water) has a certain, slower vibration, giving you solid mass, so too do your thoughts and feelings vibrate. And so too does your spirit or field of energy vibrate, perhaps more rapidly than your physical form.

Why this analogy is helpful is this: there are certain things you can do internally to emit a more abundant vibration which will therefore attract prosperous results and phenomenal people. Think of positive affirmations as emitting rapid, lighter, higher vibrations, and negative self-talk as carrying slower, heavier, lower vibrations. Positive affirmations such as “I am healthy, happy, courageous and strong,” are empowering thoughts. These translate into feelings of happiness, self-forgiveness, sureness, and excitement which vibrate at a higher rate, bringing ‘higher’ peak experiences about.

It makes sense too, that your affirmations will literally effect your physical body. Elevated thoughts can elevate your body’s vibration. Heavy, broken bodies are a result of heavy, broken affirmations, or discordant feelings. I have witnessed this firsthand! During the time I worked for a personal growth seminar company, I saw people’s physical appearance change dramatically. Some people were nearly unrecognizable in body and spirit after spending a week in an intensive seminar designed to help them break through and shift self-limiting internal dialogue into positive affirmations.

Principle of Affirmation: You create your life, however you choose it to be

Tips: Success, happiness, prosperity, love and joy are all part of your natural state, but you can explore and experience negativity if you choose, however unnatural. Nature flows with effortless ease so when you affirm your true nature, your life flows with greater ease and far less effort too. Consider the definition of ‘positive’ seen below. I’m struck by how many world-renown leaders such as Mother Teresa, Gandhi, the Dali Lama, FDR and Churchill among many others, have used similar words to describe the nature of the human spirit.

Webster’s Definition of Positive – definite, unequivocal, clear, unmistakable, resolute, certain, inarguable, incontestable, indisputable, sure and confident, absolute, genuine, perfect

Question: Are you choosing to affirm the positive truth about you?

Affirm: Affirm, with feeling, “My life is unfolding in perfect order. I am safe and protected. Everything is happening to support my highest good, even better than I imagined.” “My life is moving forward in serenity and peace, with more fun and laughter, and with relaxation and abundance! I am seeing all of my dreams coming true.”

One of my favorite affirmations is something my husband, David, says after I’ve had a rough day, “Everything is going to be just fine.” I like practical affirmations a lot, like this, “I can do it.” or this, “We’ll get it to work out.”

Try This:  If something upsetting happens today, use it as an opportunity to practice neutrality or being positive. Envision yourself unhooking or unplugging from the stress, and simply let your tension disappear.

Need Help with this Principle? Email Christen your questions at coach@benchmarkcoaching.com

Copyright 2006 Christen Murphy Resmo, Benchmark Coaching, Inc. All rights in all media reserved

“The first step is asking. The second step is that Source responds and answers. The third step is allowing it to be.”
~ Abraham-Hicks

Would you believe me if I said, “Your life is meant only to be prosperous and you’re meant only to be happy and free?” And what about this, “Abundance is waiting in the wings, eager to work its way into your experience?” That sounds really great and you might even want to believe me, but why then, aren’t you experiencing more of these realities in your life?

If you’ve ever thought, “What am I doing wrong? Why is it taking so long for my desires to manifest?” I would like to put your mind at ease. It’s not because you don’t deserve them or because fate is working against you. It’s not because you don’t want them badly enough, or you aren’t smart and talented enough. The reason you’re not manifesting your desires is because you’re holding yourself in a vibrational thought and feeling pattern that doesn’t match those of your desires. In essence, you are keeping the things you want at arms length. 

For example, if you want more money, but you’re feeling frustrated with your finances, jealous of people who have money, or fearful about just barely getting by, you create a vibrational mismatch. The energy of abundance and the energy of jealousy, frustration or fear have vibrational patterns that aren’t in sync with one another. Abundance and wellbeing vibrate at a much higher frequency than the lower energetic patterns of these other resistant feelings. The resistance created by anger, for example, disallows the flow of abundance, even though abundance is lined up outside your door.

Here is another example, if you’ve ever persistently thought that other people are more or less important than you, you’re incorrect in your thinking. These mistaken thoughts are discordant with universal truths, which keeps you temporarily suspended in a state of disallowance, until you change your mind. Also, some things need more time to orchestrate themselves and come together for you. Getting tense and anxious while you’re waiting won’t help anything happen faster.

Resistant Thoughts and Feelings Block Your Desires

Whenever you feel peaceful, relaxed and calm, you increase the rate at which your desires can come to you. You don’t have to do anything; you simply allow yourself to feel good while you’re moving toward your goals. Whenever you feel frustrated or upset, you block your desires. In fact, the definition of frustrate is ‘to cancel, counteract, forestall, block, inhibit and negate.’

Sometimes life feels like a raging river and can be overwhelming. But don’t push against the torrential currents because you’ll only end up getting wet, beaten up, cold and tired. Be light like a leaf and go with the flow. You’ll get what you wish for when you finally drop your resistance and get out of your own way.

It’s true, part of the human condition is to have negative, abundance-blocking feelings. I’m no exception; actually, everyday I continue to work through my resistance and some days I do better than others. We all feel guilt, worry, agitation, and sadness; and it is okay. I encourage you to feel your feelings. In fact, it’s important to acknowledge them, express them and let them move through you. This is all part of your growth and healing. And your feelings work as your emotional guidance system which alerts you to when something is off so you can course correct. But when you habitually focus on the negative as your primary point of view, you block the flow of good. Just pick yourself up and brush yourself off after a bad day and remember that tomorrow is a new beginning.

Let Good Things Happen

If you want more abundance, be happy for those who have it. Allow abundance to be in the lives of others because when you cheer for other people, in every sense, you cheer for yourself. When you feel sure and confident that all is well and everything will be okay, and trust that abundance will readily flow through an open door, it will. And you automatically open the door when you return to your natural state of optimism and positive expectation.  

You see, there will never be a shortage of good things that want to come to you. Fulfillment and well-being are always available to you. Could it really be as simple as being in the flow of good? Yes, it can be. And you can do it!

What it Feels Like to Be in the Flow

You’ll know you’re in a state of allowance when you feel peaceful, calm and expectant. You can gently and easily remind yourself to return to this natural state whenever you feel any discordant feelings of turmoil and unrest. Take a deep breath, put your hand on your heart-center and affirm, “I now return to my natural state of allowing things to be.”

Once you decide what you want, relax. Of course, it’s important to participate in your goals but you need to let them happen too. As you lower your inner resistance (anxiety, anger, guilt, frustration, fear, jealousy) and gradually undo your mistaken thoughts, you’ll begin to open up areas that have been stuck or closed off. Bit by bit and good feeling by good feeling, you’ll begin living with more prosperity, health, wealth, inner vibrancy and love.

Principle of Allowing – When you release resistant feelings and let things be as they are, you allow more fortuitous circumstances to move gracefully and easily into your life

Tips: Lower your resistant stance against the world. If your tendency is to argue, try not arguing. If your tendency is to power up and be a bully, try softening around the edges. If your tendency is to get upset and stressed out, remain calm and neutral today.

Question: In what part of your life do you get most frustrated these days? Who is pushing your buttons? How can you unhook from the stress and remain centered?

Affirm: “All is well in my world. My life is whole and complete and I always have enough.” “I am provided for and will always be cared for.”

Try This: Today, if you find yourself getting upset by the long line at the post office, or worse, the drive home is totally jammed up by traffic, tell yourself, “Relax and go with the flow. Stay in this place of well-being.”

Need Help with this Principle? Email Christen your questions at
coach@benchmarkcoaching.com

Principle of Receiving – When you receive, you are in a state of allowance

Tips: Most of us give easily, but often resist receiving; but resistance is resistance, no matter what form it takes. When you practice receiving, you continue the cycle of abundance. If you don’t allow yourself to receive, you block the flow of good, because you essentially say, “No, I can’t” Or, “No, I don’t want this.”

Affirm: “I open my arms today and receive my good!”

Question: Do you have a hard time receiving help from other people?

Try This: Just for today, receive a compliment with grace, let someone open a door for you or pay for your cup of coffee.  Allow support to be there for you, guilt free.

Need Help with this Principle? Email Christen your questions at
coach@benchmarkcoaching.com

Copyright 2006 Christen Murphy Resmo, Benchmark Coaching, Inc. All rights in all media reserved

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their own dreams.
~Eleanor Roosevelt

If you want to know what a person’s dominant beliefs are, look at the conditions in their life. We’ve all seen the person on daytime TV who is totally broke, in danger of losing another job and their life is one disaster after another. We also know people who are being promoted, traveling to beautiful places or retiring in Hawaii. Successful people seem to become more successful and unhappy people seem to remain unhappy because bad things just keep happening to them. But are they really victims of a cold, cruel world or simply suffering from a case of mistaken personal identity?

Beliefs are ideas that we repeat over and over again, hold on to and give emotional energy to. You can believe something that is clearly not true but can fool your mind into believing it is. An extreme example is the bone-thin anorexic who looks in the mirror and sees a fat person. Sadly, anorexia is the result of a cold, cruel and uncompassionate belief system.

From the time you were a small child, beliefs have been programmed into your mind through the process of you accepting certain ideas as true, thereby giving sanction to them and making them your own. Your grandmother might have said how beautiful you were and you chose to believe her. Or you could have chosen to believe the 3rd grade boy you had a crush on, who told you how stupid, fat and ugly you were. Your perception of self was formed depending on what ideas you repeatedly gave emotional energy to and chose to believe.

Undo the Beliefs that Don’t Serve You

The good news is, this can all be undone if you’ve done a number on yourself by choosing to believe the bad stuff. You can replace hurtful, deeply held beliefs such as “I’m not good enough” with far more loving and supportive ideas such as “I am worthy and deserve a good life.” It will take time and practice, and you may need professional help — some of our ideas have become deeply imbedded beliefs — but you can greatly improve your conditions by giving positive emotional energy to better ideas. The longer you hold onto these new ideas, with acceptance, the more they become solidly true beliefs for you. As you gradually transform your beliefs into loving ones, your life starts to change and improve too. Then, it becomes even easier to believe the new.

Progress can seem painfully slow. I am still undoing the beliefs I gave a lot of energy to as a young person. As soon as I think I’ve mastered them, more opportunities show up that allow me to uncover yet another buried layer. Undoing hurtful beliefs is like peeling the layers of an onion back, and we get closer to the core with every effort. Your life may tend to circle back to certain beliefs when you’re ready so you can tend to them again; and as frustrating as that can be, you are never really in the same place. You are further along even if it doesn’t seem that way, and you can look at these old beliefs from the new vantage point of who you are now. As the saying goes, “You can never step into the same river twice” so don’t despair, you are making progress.

I’ve had to learn how to take it in and soak it up when my clients have said, “Christen, you’re a great coach and you’ve helped me so much.” Somewhere along the line I started to down-play my need for affection and praise. If I were to guess the belief I’ve had to undo it would be this, “Being anything less than perfect isn’t okay so no need to thank me, it’s just expected.” True, my perfectionism has helped me in some ways but has hurt me in others. Our beliefs are usually a mixed bag so we need to stay aware of when they’re serving us and when they clearly are not. In my case, I’ve needed to use perfectionism wisely, keeping enough of it to enjoy my high standards while learning to drop it so I can relax, have fun and not beat myself up at the same time.

My Garden Analogy

Here’s another way to look at this concept: your beliefs are like seeds that have been planted in the fertile ground of your unlimited mind. The energy you give them equates to the vital water and sunlight they